Serendipity

I really like this movie. It is very romantic and funny and cute. The idea of having only one person you are supposed to be with is such a popular idea in our culture. A soul-mate. When I examine this idea closer though it scares me. I am so glad that I do not subscribe to this theory. Just think about it for a minute. If there was only one person on this planet for you, how could you ever be guaranteed to find him? What if he died doing something he shouldn't have done? What if he didn't know he had a soul-mate out there and married someone else? How are you ever going to be happy with anyone worrying about that soul-mate out there waiting for you? I think this idea can kill good marriages. Here is how I think it can happen:

A woman believes there is only one person that could make her completely happy and marries, thinking she has found that person. They are happy for a few years, then some serious conflicts present themselves. Maybe the catalyst is the loss of a job or some illness. The woman is not as happy all the time as she was when she was first married. She begins thinking that maybe this man was not really her soul-mate and that he is still out there somewhere. She tries to make her marriage work, but this idea has taken hold and now she believes that someone else would make her happier. The marriage falls apart.

Now I realize that it is also possible that someone who doesn't believe in a soul-mate could think "many people can make me happy, this person no longer does so I might as well leave him and find someone else". I just think that the Hollywood ideal of a perfect soul-mate does more damage in this department coupled with the disregard for the importance of marriage. I prefer to believe that there are several people that I could have been happy with if I had chosen differently. I made my choice and married a man I loved. I am happy and will continue to be happy. I have now made this man my soul-mate and do not want to marry anyone else. I know that in order to remain happy I need to work hard in my relationship to support my husband and help our friendship and love grow. If problems arise I know that problems would have occurred with anyone I had married and that some mythical one perfect match is not out there. As my husband and my relationship grows we become the perfect match for each other. This kind of relationship is developed through work, time, care, and love. It isn't some happenchance of fate that determines if a relationship will last.

This is my view anyway. I find it comforting to know that I control my own fate in this way and that my happiness in love is not dependent upon the chance of finding one person out of a few billion.