So I am a very bad blogger. Hopefully that will change now that I have moved my computer downstairs so I can type after my kids go to sleep. I just can't seem to enjoy typing a long entry with one hand. It just takes too long.
I went to a barbecue a few weeks ago at a friend's house. I play basketball with her and some other women a few times a week, our kids come and run around with each other and we all get some exercise. The barbecue was good fun. I told my sister about it and some of the things we did, and she commented that my friend must be rich. She probably is well off but this comment launched me into full defensive mode. "She might have money, but they don't throw it away on things, and her kids don't get everything they want, and they have old things . . ." are a few of my answers. Of course my sister points out that I got defensive and did not need to.
So why did I get defensive? Why feel the need to defend her just because she might have money? My sister does sometimes make comments about spoiled rich people, but I don't think this was what I was thinking when I started making defensive remarks. What is wrong with having money? I have thought about this and realize nothing is wrong with having money. It is how a person chooses to spend it and treat it that can be off putting. I see on television celebrities wasting thousands of dollars on hair-cuts, manicures, alcoholic beverages, and other things. Images of perfectly manicured men and women in polos and khakis sitting around in fancy country clubs exist in many media forms. I just have this image of snobby people in designer clothes playing all day and casually spending money on leisure items because it means nothing to them. I have seen children with no concept of monetary value because they have been given everything they ever wanted without effort.
I don't think I was jealous of these types of wealthy people when I was younger. I think I was, and still am, frustrated by them. How can anyone think it is a good thing to give a child anything he wants without work on his part? What lessons does that teach a child? Why should someone
spend a fortune on houses, cars, and clothing just because he can? I know of no person that needs a 10,000 + sq ft. house. Most people don't even need half that. Maybe one fancy car is excusable, but 4 or 5 cars that cost $50,000 or more? I often think about how much good the extra money spent on these superfluous things could do if donated to some charity. Most people deserve a few "fun" items to spend extra money on but when these fun things use up gobs of money I feel it is excessive.
Now I know all wealthy people don't do these things. Many hate to waste money and by from discount stores and even use previously owned items. Many donate a significant portion of their income to charity. Many affluent people have perfectly well behaved and brought up children who have learned to work for what they want. I wish I could remember this image and get rid of the stigma that I carry about wealthy people. The funny thing is that my parents would be considered wealthy by many, and once my husband finishes school and has a job, we also will have what some would consider a large income. And the stigma is so strong I was about to type how the amount he will probably make isn't really very much in today's world. Why does it matter to me what some people will think of me just because I have money? Why do people think that of the affluent just because of a number on their bank statements? This kind of thinking isn't much different than other more villainised forms of prejudice. Maybe if our culture viewed the non-celebrity wealthy as a more positive part of society more children would grow up to attain a similar social status. I am not suggesting that people are poor because they hate the rich, but that some people possible choose not to work hard and openly strive to make a better living for themselves because they fear ostracizing from their current circle of friends.
What do you think about this? Is my post completely confusing? It is really late and I might not have expressed myself in the best way possible but hopefully this will at least spark some interesting thoughts and maybe some discussion if I can attract anyone to read my blog. Hopefully my writing gets better as time goes on. I like to blame my slow thought process on my mommy brain. My mind works slower now and I am trying to work hard to get it back up to speed. Help me out by arguing with me now! I like it.
2 comments:
When you are spending your well earned money on things like manicures and pools and having remodeling done to your home and maybe elaborate parties and weddings, remember that you are employing others and making it possible for them to earn an income. If no one was able to spend their money on these "luxuries" many service oriented careers would be out of business. Often we don't see what goes on behind closed doors and aren't able to see how much these people give to charity or other equally needy organizations. It is hard when you have worked very hard to get your income to a level that you can be somewhat comfortable and it appears that others haven't worked as hard but isn't that being a little judgmental? Just a thought.
A very good point redbug. I still have a problem with people paying several hundred dollars for a haircut though. The people that charge this much to cut hair also have a good deal of money. I just think this cash could be put to better use. I also know that many wealthy people donate a good deal of time and money to help others. I tried to address this. The point I was attempting to make was that for some reason in our society if someone learns that a person is wealthy that person is assumed to be spoiled or not aware of the value of money and work. It shouldn't be that way. Knowing that someone has money tells me nothing really important about a person's character. I wish more people would realize this.
Post a Comment